Letter to you

My dear,
We're still so young and I'm asking myself if we will ever find happiness. It's not right. It just feels like I've already lived and felt everything I was supposed to, and now I'm just looking for that over and over again. I'm writing you, and it's okay because I know that if you ever read this, maybe you'll smile for a second remembering everything we've ever lived togheter. And then you'll hate me again. It hurts that I can not see you or talk to you. It hurts that you are not mine and I'm not yours anymore. But mostly, it hurts that our love has ended and will never live again. You're always in my mind, I can't forget your smell, your touch, your taste... Or maybe it's not you, just the idea of you, loving me. Of us, being happy... I've been having those thoughts again. That happiness and love are a just a dream and maybe death is a landscape. I'm trying not to fall apart like I felt for you.
Forever yours, in life and after.