Now you understand?

It's almost 9PM and I'm thinking of you, like always. About the way that your hair fall over your shoulders and the way you walk, like you're the most perfect human being to ever exist and the world is at your feet. I'm always remembering the sound of your laugh, like a background music in my head. And I'm always remembering the way your lips tasted when they hit mine. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe I should just forget everything and move on, but you were the love of my life. For god's sake, you still are. I might never kiss you again, maybe we'll never be able to talk until the sunrise again, but I can't forget. Even now, when you're not here, and I don't hear anything from you in ages, you're always with me, in my heart, in my thoughts. I ask myself if I'll forget you one day, but then, I'm not sure if I really want to. You made me happy and whole. You made me think that life was worthwhile. And then you took it all away. I hate you, but I love you. Now you understand?