Emptiness

All I can feel is emptiness.
This hole inside my body,
Inside my heart, my soul.
I've been feeling so much and so hard
That the way was to shut down all my feelings.
Emotions are a fucked up thing.
They get messy, dirty,
And all I want to be is clean, organized.
I have this need to have everything under my control,
And it's frustrating because I can't control a damn thing.
I can't even control the way I feel about people,
Or how much I love them,
How much I need them in my life.
To be honest, I sure can't understand all the things they are capable of,
Like leaving you when you most need them.
I look around and I see pain,
I see broken people with broken hearts
And twisted minds.
The world is a fucked up place full of fucked up people,
So all I can do is trying to be less emotional,
Try to be more in control of myself and maybe I can survive in this world.
(All I can do is stop loving you.)

Love again

Some things in life happens when you don't expect them,
And I was not expecting this,
But life (and love) have a funny way to surprise you.
When you think you can't love anymore,
That you're heart is dead and burried,
Totally out of order,
Someone comes into your life
And makes you see that you'll always be able to love one more time,
Even if you don't want to.
Because you know how much you can suffer.
Love can go both ways and
You don't want to be hurt again,
You don't want to cry alone in your room listening to the songs that reminds you of that person.
You don't want to wake up feeling empty,
With a hole in the place where your heart has supposed to be,
A hole that can't be filled,
Because you know,
That love will rip your heart from your cheast once again,
It's only a matter of time.

Maybe this all thing will start to make some sense

This doesn't make sense,
I don't make sense,
And certainly, life doesn't make sense.
I'm trying to figure out how to turn this in a good thing,
How to live a life that I'm proud of.
I'm trying so hard to find something that I like, 
Something I would really enjoy.
I don't know how to make life enjoyable.
I don't really know how to live it.
I don't know how to (not) love you,
And I'm so sorry for that. 
I have to apologize to my heart,
The poor bastard is always broken,
I should start to use it along with my head,
To makes us suffer a little bit less,
If that's is even possible.
I'm just a hopeless romantic,
Trying to find someone to share all my love with,
And when that happens, 
Maybe this all thing will start to make some sense.

I'm a boat

Life's becoming so hard,
I don't know how long I can take this,
For how long I can live in this dark and fucked up world.
I don't think I can last much more,
My scars are starting to open again,
And the blood is falling,
Hitting the floor at the speed that people continue to tell me lies,
My heart is pumping so fast,
The thoughts in my head are so loud,
I wish I can just run away and left this all behind,
Not thinking about all the times I had let people down,
And all the times they had hurt me and didn't even care if I remain intact.
I'm a broken and lost boat trying to find my way back to the coast

Things were fine and life was good

I had this dream,
Things were fine and life was good,
But then I woke up and I just felt so empty,
Like if nothing will ever be okay,
And I could never be happy.
I'm trying so hard to see the good things in life,
It's hard sometimes,
When you have nothing to believe,
And no one to say that everything will be okay.
I don't understand the purpose of living life trying to be happy all by yourself.
I don't even understand me and whatever is going in my mind.
I'm really making an effort to think positive,
But I just don't know how much my broken little heart and soul can take.

Reality

I don't know what to say,
My life's kinda messed up right know,
I don't know what to chase,
I don't know what to fight for,
Things are starting to hurt more,
So I rather stay quiet and wait,
Hoping that life will bring me something good one day,
Because even if it's just for a bit,
I would love to taste happiness,
But I guess that's impossible,
Happiness doesn't exist,
Reality keeps knocking on our door,
And all we have is each other (at least in my mind)